


I'm Half a Heart without you

by HarrysFirstLady



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Makeup Sex, Teen Angst, Top Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:58:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarrysFirstLady/pseuds/HarrysFirstLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis promised to love harry forever, but then broke up with him soon after. two years later, louis shows up out of the blue, wanting to make up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Half a Heart without you

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for any and all mistakes.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be alright love?” his mum asks for what must be the thousandth time and “geez mum! Im gonna be fine! Its not like I’m moving away to Antarctica, or – or prison or something!” harry says fondly. “its just college mum, and I’m a few hours away.” “I know dear” his mum says pulling him into another bone crunching hug. “just call me if anything goes wrong’ . “Yes mum! I will!” after a few minutes of tearful goodbye from his mum, harry gets his bags and goes to find his dorm. 

Finding his dorm was a little difficult, new students and returning students with their stuff cluttering up the whole area. With a little help from a nice girl though, he’s in front of his room now. He unlocks the door and with a sigh, and steps inside. It’s pretty normal. Two beds facing each other across the room. One beside the window, another by the wall. On either sides of both besides, there’s a little desk and chair, then a medium sized closet.

Harry should be massively excited. He’s now in college, on his own, except he’s not. He tries not to think about the fact that it should have been him and his best friend (boyfriend! The tiny voice in his head says) standing here right now, laughing about random silly stuff, but he fails spectacularly. It’d been two years since Louis walked out of his life, without so much as a backward glance (or apparently giving a thought to the fact that he broke Harry’s heart in the process), and despite what he tries to tell himself every day, he’s still not over it.

Well fuck him, harry thinks. Louis is not going to ruin this for him. He’s not going to think about louis’ stupid blue eyes, or the adorable way he used to smile at harry like harry meant the whole world to him, and shit! Harry really needs to learn how to move on from it, so far though, he hadn’t been able to manage it. But that should be a bit easier now since he’s in college, with many new guys to meet. Getting back to the present, he realizes the room is empty since his roommate is obviously not here yet. Just as well he thinks, chooses the bed by the window and starts to unpack and get settled in, after all, this is going to be his new home for the next year. 

*** 

Almost an hour later, Harry has managed to put all his things away. His side of the room looks a little better now, compared to how impersonal it had been when he had first walked in. it’s still just a room with two beds, two closets and two desks across the room from each other, but harry thinks its alright. He gets up and goes across the room, opening the door and stepping into the hallway.

The room next to Harry’s has loud laughter and music pouring through the open door and for a second harry thinks he should look around, maybe introduce himself to a few of his ‘neighbors’ but he really wasn’t in the mood for small talk so he just walks around abit, looking for the bathroom. He finds it easily, just down the hallway, and eases himself before he makes his way back to him room, planning to just take a nap or something.

Getting closer to his door, harry notices that his door is slightly ajar, and didn’t he close the door on his way out? He’s just about to go in and find out who’s in his room when he hears a familiar voice saying “I just got here mother! For God’s sake let me get settled in before the calls start at least…” and harry freezes right where he is because, Oh my god! It can’t be.

Harry would recognize Louis’ voice anywhere and inside his dorm room was the last place he was expecting to hear that voice. But that can’t be right! What would Louis be doing here? So Harry pushes the door open and walks inside slowly, and sure as hell, there he is, as hot as ever, In the middle of the room. And harry is frozen again because no way! This isn’t real he thinks frantically. Jesus, has he started hallucinating now? And picturing louis in places he definitely isn’t?

But then “…I’ll call you later mom… MOM! …. Goodbye MOTHER!!... I love u too” I hear him sigh as he hangs up the phone, smiling fondly, then tosses the phone on the other bed. Just then, he turns around and notices Harry standing there.

And it’s been two years. Two years of trying to fight this feeling and just a look from him! Dammit, only a look from those piercing blue eyes, and it’s all coming back. Harry couldn’t breathe and it didn’t seem like he could talk either, so he just stood there staring at Louis, sure he must have fallen asleep and is dreaming.

But then, “Haz...” Louis breathes and Harry suddenly snaps out of his trance. Holy shit! This is really happening. “Louis? wh..what are you doing here? H..how did u get in here? Why…” asks in a small panicked voice, but louis cuts him off “I kept my promise harry. Remember? we promised we were gonna go here together, and be roommates. I – I came..” he falters when harry just stands there staring. “no. no! u left Lou. That was a long time ago. You’re not supposed to be here lou” blushing at the old nick name that just slipped out of my mouth, I quickly corrected myself “…louis, and soo much has changed, and you are not meant to be here. Pls go away” and harry is shaking his head because, no louis can’t look at him like that. Like... like he used to. Like he meant something, when he obviously hadn’t been enough for louis. Like nothing had changed, and all the times harry had cried himself to sleep missing louis never happened, or like Louis even missed him too.

“I’ve missed you so much Haz” he whispers, coming closer. “Stop it Louis. Just! You have no right to say that to me! Stay where you are.” . And harry is really trying hard not to cry right now. “Please” he says. “I’m really really sorry haz”. “please let me explain. Let me fix this, let me fix us” ”THERE IS NO US!” harry quietly shouts at him. “You ruined it”. “I know that babe”, he says, sounding so broken, “please let me fix it.” “haz, there is no excuse for what I did. I know…but...I just… I just freaked out when people started calling us names and looking at us suspiciously. I was scared about what people were saying. In school and at home... So I tried to run away from it all. To run away from you. Hoping the feeling would go away or something. But it never did harry, it never went away! Please look at me harry”, “I know I have a long way to go before I earn your forgiveness, if ever, but I’m willing to try Haz. I swear, im gonna make things right. Please give me a chance to make it up to you?’.

And right in that moment, Harry couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He just let the tears fall. He cried in hurt for the two years lost but mostly, He just cried in relief. This was what He always wanted and hoped for, and somehow, his prayers were being answered. Yet he couldn’t let Louis know this. His pride wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t just ignore the two years’ worth of hurt and rejection Louis made him feel. “Things can’t go back to the way they were, just because you show up out of the blue with an apology louis”, “too much has happened. Too much has changed” Harry lies, knowing nothing had really changed.

He was still as in love with louis as he’d been two years ago. “True Haz, just say you would be open minded to forgiving me and we can start from there”. I can do that I think. I want to (because obviously im so weak when it comes to Louis) “I’ll try” I say sniffing. “Thanks” he says smiling and I try to smile back.

***

They talked for a long time, gingerly trying to repair their broken friendship. They ordered pizza when they got hungry and tried to talk like the best friends they once were. It was still a bit awkward but conversations had always been easy with them. They just connect like two puzzle pieces and for a while, they were almost able to pretend the past never happened.

They talked until late at night, before they decided to get some rest. “Night Haz” Louis whispered. “Night Lou ” Harry replied with a small smile. “back to nicknames then Haz?” and “shut it Louis!” harry says with a fond roll of his eyes. Louis must hear the fond in his voice because he can hear louis laughing softly in his bed. Harry gets into bed but couldn’t sleep, and from the way louis’ sheets were rustling as he tossed and turned, neither could he.

Did he really mean all what he said? If not he wouldn’t really be here then would he? Probably not. Seeing as he only agreed to come to this school two years ago because of me. I remember the day we made the decision to stay together after high school. 

*** 

School had just let out for the day and instead of going straight home, Louis had followed him over his house. We went straight up to my room as we had done so many times before. “Nick is really is such a douchebag” louis’ saying climbing unto my bed and getting comfortable. “Where does she get off talking to us like that!” ”I swear to God, im gonna bitch slap him soon.” Laughing, Harry half lays on top of Louis , “forget him babe” harry says pressing a kiss to his lips. “he’s probably just jealous of our unmistakable bond” “he probably just wants to shag you or something” harry continues. Wrinkling up his nose, louis makes a gagging noise. “come on , he’s really cute too, you know” harry giggles as Louis suddenly pins him to the bed with his body. “Have you been eyeing up other guys curly”? Harry laughs as louis tickles him. “have you?” and he’s also laughing.

Harry is breathless. “Stop. Stop it Lou. Fuck! you know I’ve only got the hots for a certain hottie. I think his name is Louis Tomlinson”. ”Good. I’m not sharing” he says, kissing his way up my Harry’s neck. Moaning softly, harry flips them over and starts kissing him. Harry and louis have been in a secret relationship for more than a year now, and it’s still unbelievable how much louis turned him on.

Groaning, harry straddles louis thigh, then flicks his tongue into louis, rolling it around Harry’s and harry groans deepening the kiss. He catches Louis’ tongue between his teeth, sucking on it lightly, eliciting another moan from louis. Hands all over each other’s bodies, trying to touch everywhere at once. Harry slips his hand under Louis’ shirt and lifts if up, louis raises his arms and the shirt comes off quickly and is discarded. He moans when harry rubs at his chest, rolling his nipples gently between his thumb and forefinger, and the sounds make harry even harder than he already is. He can feel Louis just as hard under him. Removing his lips from Louis’, he kisses down his neck to his chest, taking both nipples between his teeth then given them kitten licks and Louis whines. harry knows how much Lou likes to have his nipples suckled on, so harry sucks harder. The little breathless sighs he’s making is becoming too much for Harry to handle so he quickly removes both their jeans and they’re just in their briefs. Lying back down on the bed, Louis crawls on top of harry, straddling his thighs then dips his head to plant little wet kisses all over harry’s face and throat. Harry sighs, rutting against louis and they both gasp at the friction of their cocks grinding against each other’s. And fuck! harry wants more. As if sensing his thoughts, Louis sits up and pulls off harry’s briefs. He takes louis cock in his hand and harry moans. Louis grabs the base of harry’s cock and licks a wet stripe up to his head. Harry whines. Louis rolls his tongue around the head of harry’s cock then swallows him down slowly. “fuck!” harry groans as his cock hits d back of louis’ throat. “fuck! lou…” he whines. Knowing he never lasts when louis deep throats him.

Harry grabs a fistful of louis hair as louis starts bobbing his head on harry’s cock, using his tongue to caress the under of harry’s cock, just below the head. “lou! M soo close. So close lou,” and without warning, harry is coming down louis throat with a hiss, grabbing the bed sheets, knuckles white. Louis sucks him through it then pulls off when harry stops shaking. Louis sitsup and wipes him mouth, looking down at harry trying to catch his breath!

“shit lou, that was amazing”, and louis is smirking, enjoying seeing Harry so fucked out. Not for long harry thinks, getting up on shaky knees and pushing louis back on the bed. He swiftly pulls down louis’ briefs and wetting Louis’ cock with big, fat swipes of his tongue, he takes louis in his hand, jerking him off slowly , drawing it out the way he knows drives louis crazy.

And it doesn’t take long for louis to start jerking up into his hand groaning loudly. Louis had always been loud in bed, so Harry captures his mouth in a kiss in an attempt to quiet him down. Harry knows Louis is close already, so he breaks the kiss and resettles himself between his laps, he places his mouth around the head of louis cock, sucking it hard, cheeks hollowing, as he jerks the rest of his cock off faster. Louis lets out a strangled moan, and then he’s coming inside Harry’s mouth, hips bucking wildly. Harry takes him in deeper and Louis shudders, squirting his come for what feels life forever, until he collapses back on the bed. Totally spent!

Harry is the one smirking now. Until louis pulls him down on top him, kissing him lazily, still awash in the glow of his massive orgasm. They kiss lazily for a few minutes, stark naked against each other, and harry Is in no rush because he knows Gemma and his mum won't be back for another few hours.

“I love you so much Haz” Louis says. “We’re gonna leave this school in a year, and go off to uni, and be roommates and nobody is gonna look at us with suspiciously raised eyebrows and try to out us every minute,” “it will be just u and I.” Harry smiles at the thought because, that would be amazing. Just them, away from this place where nobody knows them. They would be free to do whatever, and not have to hide their love anymore. “Yeah babe, that would awesome. I really love you very much a lot Lou” and louis is laughing against harry’s lips. “Very much a lot huh?” “Shut up Lou” harry says kissing him again… 

 

*** 

 

The sound of Louis getting out of his bed brings harry back to the present. It had been so quiet Harry thought he might have finally gone to sleep. Or maybe he was just too lost his my memories to notice anything around him. He wasn’t prepared for the emotions that memory brought, and he knows he’s sporting a semi inside his PJs. Fuck! why did louis have to be so fucking hot? Like which guy even has that kind of ass? 

He’s too lost in thought again, thinking about Louis’ ass, so he doesn’t notice Louis standing beside him until he whispers “Haz! Haz are you asleep”? Harry closes his eyes and tries to pretend he’s sleeping but Louis whispers his name again, so he sighs and replies with a no. “Couldn’t sleep” harry says. “Me neither” he replies. “Been thinking about us. About all the fun we had. And I know you probably don’t Wanna hear this but I can’t seem to help myself. We were so fucking good together until I ruined it”. I hear the regret in his voice and it pulls at my heart. “remember that time your dad almost walked in on us snogging”? “that was so funny, u jumped so hard u fell off the bed. Hit you bum pretty hard too.”

Harry smiles at the memory, unable to do more than that. Why is he getting choked up now? Probably because he just wants to wrap Louis in his arms and pretend all those years didn’t happen. “Are you still mad at me?” “Harry?” And Harry just wants answers. He really wants to know what happened, so he asked “why did u do it? U promised me you were never going to stop loving me…” “I didn’t” “…and that we were going to stay together till the day after forever. But u stopped loving me. Even stopped talking to me and generally pretended I didn’t exist. It fucking hurt Lou.

I cried myself to sleep every night for months” and he doesn’t really want louis to know that but he cant stop himself from continuing. “I prayed everyday Louis, every fucking day, that you’ll come back to me. Only you never did. And then the two months later, I see you around with Eleanor, flaunting your new relationship in my face” he can hear louis making a noise of protest, trying to say something but harry doesn’t let him. “You never even explained why. Just said you couldn’t do ‘this’, us, anymore” and harry is close to tears again but for some reason, they don’t fall. “so tell me Louis, why did you do it? Wasn’t I good enough for you?”

“fuck harry, you were more than enough for me. I was overwhelmed. I panicked and ran away. Eleanor had nothing on you babe, she didn’t even come close. It’s always been you harry. And I know you wouldn’t believe me but it has always been you. Always.” ”I’m really sorry Haz. if it makes u feel any better, the last two years of my life have been shit. The rumors just grew too much for me to handle and I freaked out. I used to want to come to u and make it right, make us right, but I didn’t have the courage. i was scared you will tell me to fuck off and never come back. I never stopped loving you Harry. I really need you to believe that”.

He looked so sincere and so sorry that I knew she was telling the truth. And I still loved him, what was I supposed to do? “How did you get to be my roommate then?” I ask. “I requested to be your room mate. I lied that u were my cousin and we never had time to see each other and it would be really awesome if I had family close to me in this terrifying new place” and Harry smiles because that sounds so much like something louis would do. The drama queen.

“she probably knew I was lying but I guess I was just luck? Or maybe it’s fate! It was my only chance to make it right. Please forgive me” he’s so close right now and (when did that happen?)

harry just really wants to hug him silly, and fuck it, he thinks, grabbing louis by the shoulder and pulling him into a tight hug which louis immediately sinks into with a sigh.

They stay there hugging for what feels like forever and, “are you crying lou?” and he sniffs again, “im just so happy haz. Thank you. Thank you so much for giving me another chance. You’re giving me another chance, right?” and louis sounds so small and hopeful, and harry really really loves him, so “yeah lou. I guess I am” and louis sinks into him again and harry shushes louis softly repeated thank you’s and raises louis head from his shoulder, looking into louis cloudy blue eyes, ”you cant ever do that to me again lou’’, “never”, “you cant ever leave me again”, “never again harry. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank yo…”

Harry knows louis would say thank you all night long if he lets him so harry cuts his apologies off with a kiss. Using his thumb, harry parts lou’s lips softly, slipping my tongue inside his mouth and louis sighs into the kiss. Tongue rubbing frantically against harry’s and the once sweet kiss turns dirty so fast, what with louis pushing against harry with all he’s got and when harry rocks his hips forward against Louis’, he feels louis hard against him.

Fuck! its too soon but harry cant bring himself to care. His brain all fuddles up with louis louis louis, and fuck it!

They stumble to the bed, lips attached, PJs flying across the room in their haste to get naked. Louis falls on the bed, harry ontop of him, kissing like their life depended on it. Both ully unclothed now, harry keens when louis flips them over, straddling his thighs and grinding his cock into harry’s, cocks wet with precome and sliding hotly against each other. They kiss and rut against each other, louis moaning and biting harry on the neck. Its too much and not enough at the same time.

Harry quickly flips them over and slides out of the bed, louis protests but shuts up, pupils blows wide when harry returns with lube and a condom. Louis quickly lies back on the bed while harry gets between his legs. Harry uncaps the small bottle quickly, slicking up one of his fingers, opens up louis legs wider and circles his hole with it. Louis whines, and fuck! this would be over soon, harry can tell. Louis makes an impatient sound, so harry pushes inside fluidly, burying his finger to the knuckle. And louis moans loudly, hips bucking. Harry thrusts his finger into louis for a few seconds, intentionally avoiding his sweet spot, and louis is soon begging for more.

Harry adds another finger, rocking his hand in out of louis faster, he curls his hand at an angle and louis whines, breathing out harry’s name like a prayer. Harry scissors his or a few seconds opening him wider.. ”m good haz, get on wit..” harry twists his fingers again and “shit! D..do that again haz…..oh fuck!”, and harry know he’s ready, so he sit up quickly, removes his hands from inside louis, grabs the condom but louis catches his arm, and harry looks up at him in confusion, “u don’t want me to..” harry begins, but louis cuts him off with an impatient sound. “wanna feel you H. please. Need to feel you inside me. ‘s been so long”, “are you sure about that lou?” and he seems to understand the hidden meaning behind the question because he says “there’s been no one else harry” he says it like a confession, not meeting harry’s eyes and harry really loves this boy.

Without wasting any more time, harry slicks up his cock with the lube, lifts louis up by his thighs and draws him closer so his cock is lined up with louis’ hole. He looks up at louis briefly, and asks “ready?” and louis licks his lips and nods. Harry holds the base of his cock and buries himself into louis in one powerful thrust, drawing out a grunt from louis. He waits for a few seconds and starts moving when louis nods at him. He pulls out almost all the way and drives back into louis and louis is biting his lips trying to stifle his moans, knowing how loud he gets. 

Harry picks up a rhythm of long hard thrusts and louis rocks forward to meet him each time. When louis digs his nails into Harry’s back, harry knows its time to speed things up. He picks up louis ankle and places it on his shoulder and places the other on his waist, then bends down to kiss louis for a few seconds before resting his head on louis shoulder.

The new position gives him momentum, and he starts driving into louis mercilessly. He cocks his hips a bit and knows hes found louis’ prostate when louis nails dig painfully into into his ass and he lets out a piercing hiss. So harry keeps that position, pounding into louis prostate with each thrust and harry already close. Can feel the heat pooling in his groin and growing hotter and he pounds harry harder. “fuck! fuck! oh my god! Harreeyy!” and harry seals louis mouth with his own, louis getting too loud. 

Harry feels like he’s going to explode but hes holding himself off for louis sake, wanting him to come first. But harry’s not sure he can make it. “come for me lou, come on…” he whispers hotly into louis ears. Then slides his hands down louis body, taking hold of his cock and jerking him off in time to his thrust. That does it for louis, his hips buck wildly as he comes between them. Long ropes of white staining their stomachs and louis looks so utterly wrecked, with his eyes squeezed shut, his head tipped back against the bed with his neck exposed.

Harry bites down on his neck, his iwn orgasm hitting him like a storm, his vision turning white, louis name repeatedly falling from his lips. Louis hold him through it until harry finally collapses on him.

“that was fucki..” louis starts but harry shushes him. “go to bed louis.” Louis falls silent breathingslowing down a bit. “goodnight haz. I love you.” “I love you too louis” harry whispers back. They don’t even bother cleaning up. Louis just snuggles up against harry and harry hold him thight, kissing his forehead. He throws the blanket over them, the sound of louis soft breaths lulling him to sleep.

The last thing on his mind before he falls asleep is how much his life changed for the better in less than 24hours. How he finally had what he’d always wanted, and right before he gave up on him ever getting it. Being without louis had been like waking up to half a blue sky. Like he only had half a heart. But now he feels whole again. He smiles to himself again. Holding louis tighter (like he’s afraid louis would disappear or something) he finnaly drifts off to sleep, smile still in place.

**Author's Note:**

> feed back is appreciated. thanks for reading.


End file.
